Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I'm a Lover

“Because he[b] loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
   I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
   I will be with him in trouble,
   I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
   and show him my salvation.”
                                    -Ps 91:14-16 NIV


This Psalm has been my motto and prayer this entire summer---today as I once again prayed it back to God I focused on these last parts of this great Psalm.  The reason I stopped here is because I was telling God how because I love Him He rescues me.  Then I thought back to a time I didn’t know if I loved God. A time when the enemy had me question my love of Him and not only that but my devotion. It got to a point where I realized I was never in love with God. Let me explain I thought it was love or not even that—it was religion and in religion there is no love.  There is only following a set of rules and regulations but no room for love.  No room to fall madly, deeply, passionately in love with God. No room to fall in love with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. No room for it because we’re busy doing religion we’re busy following the list. And there we go marking the list of things we “need” to do for God to love and answer us.  And then here comes Ps 91:14---God says, “Because Bea loves me I will rescue her.”  Wow!! All it takes for Him to listen and rescue me is me loving Him!! The thing with me was He knew I didn’t love Him and that I was only going through the motions. Would I have loved Him I would have done and not done many things.  If there were love I wouldn’t be counting down the things I did for Him.  I wouldn’t be demanding my ways and desires over His.  I wouldn’t insist on many things of the flesh and I wouldn’t put priority over the flesh rather than the Spirit.  It wasn’t until the end of last year I was able to say the 3 little words to God---and mean them!! It was the best and happiest moment of my life when I realized I loved God and JC His son!! It was almost surreal and then the feeling that came with it even more surreal.  When I go before the Lord in prayer and worship in my devotional hour and time I always feel that same thing I did like when I first realized I loved God.  Its funny because God’s love or my love towards Him makes me feel so special like I’m walking on clouds!! And so that’s why the enemy didn’t want me to find this true love. He wanted to take away the promises that God’s love draws to my life.  There are so many of them but Psalm 91:14-16 is good enough for me.  IF all I had was this promise it would suffice!!  Look at them promises:  protection, God listening to me, help in time of trouble, long life, God honoring me, me receiving salvation from God---wow!! All activated by me loving God!! Sounds so simple but yet its so complex because some of us have been living in false love. I don’t want to burst your love bubble but it wasn’t until I had this revelation that I was able to step into a real love relationship with God. Maybe you were once in love well Rev talks about that kind of relationship with God. One where the “first love” is lost and we’re called to return to that first love. So this means its possible to fall out of love with God (us with Him) but never God. He will never stop loving us!!

I’m activating my love promises today with God.  I need His help and refuge!! And its good to know loving God doesn’t come with nothing. And even if it did with everything I’ve experienced of His love so far its more than enough!!! One of the things I was never able to do is tell God “I love you.” Why? Because I knew it wasn’t true. I loved being busy at church, clapping, singing---but it wasn’t coming out of my real love for Him but rather a desire to please others and look good to others.  When I started doing things out of my real love for Him not only was my service better but others were coming to a better relationship with God. There was no room for pride and ego n love but a lot of room for it in religion and religious pattern. Even my language changed especially my language of prayer and worship.  Wow I sit back now when I’m worshipping and I say I better write this stuff down because its good!! I never used to worship God—my busywork didn’t let me.  Falling in love changed everything.  It changed everything including my service and priorities even in the ministry.  Through me falling in love with God others came to this love---so it worked both ways. 

I want us to really ask ourselves…do I love God? Can I tell Him those 3 words?? If so, where are those words coming from? A heart that truly loves or a desire to love? Only we can know the truth.  Let God lure you with His word and help you fall in love with Him.  He won’t disappoint. 

Adelante!

-Bea
Generation Glory

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